Dissociated Press The Russian Ministry of Health announced Tuesday that McDonalds’ decision to leave Russia is expected to add more than four years to the average Russian’s life expectancy. Studies undertaken by the University of Moscow School of Health Issues and Troubles (UMSHIT) show that when the drunken buffoon Boris Yeltsin took over Russia after the CIA coup of 1991, Russian men lost almost a decade of life expectancy. Originally it was thought that the looting of Russia by CIA-affiliated Zionist billionaire oligarchs had destroyed life-support systems for food, utilities, and other infrastructure, and that Russians were so depressed about being ruled by an evil American-owned clown like Yeltsin that they started drinking themselves to death.
Wait…! This just in. President Brandon just signed an executive order BARRING McDonalds from leaving Russia, noting in a moment of lucidity, “Micky-D’s is the most powerful weapon we have to fight those evil Ruskies!” That moment of clarity quickly faded when the President discovered the wonder of blowing bubbles into the straw of his glass of water.
Kevin, now THIS...is brilliant, clear and accessible satire! And good satire always shares some uncomfortable or "well hidden" truths. Really well done. Robin
Lmao.
Good one.
But McDeath diet does kill.
Wait…! This just in. President Brandon just signed an executive order BARRING McDonalds from leaving Russia, noting in a moment of lucidity, “Micky-D’s is the most powerful weapon we have to fight those evil Ruskies!” That moment of clarity quickly faded when the President discovered the wonder of blowing bubbles into the straw of his glass of water.
Kevin, now THIS...is brilliant, clear and accessible satire! And good satire always shares some uncomfortable or "well hidden" truths. Really well done. Robin