Azov Battalion Permanently Adopts "Rainbow Swastika" Pride Month Flag

Major rebranding seen as propitiating Western sponsors

Dissociated Press

Denys Prokopenko, Fuhrer-in-Chief of Ukraine's Azov Battalion, announced at a press conference yesterday that Azov is moving to permanently adopt its rainbow swastika Pride Month flag. "We'd been planning to take it down and put up our plain-old-swastika flag," Prokopenko said, "but our Western donors explained that they'd like us to celebrate sexual perversion and child mutilation all year long, instead of just for one month."

The permanent installation of the rainbow swastika flag will be celebrated at Azov's headquarters in the basement of CheekyButts, the biggest gay bar in Kiev, next Tuesday. Ukrainian President Vlodimir Zelensky will perform unnatural acts on the piano, climaxing with a rousing rendition of the Donna Summer classic "I Feel Love" as the rainbow swastika flag is proudly hoisted and Azov's old swastika banner retired.

Some Azov members find it hard to reconcile their hardcore Nazi ideology with the LGBTQ-XYZ agenda pushed on them by the West. "Have you ever tried putting a swish in your goose-step?" asked Azov Colonel Andriy Biletsky. "It ain't easy, let me tell you! You have to bend your knees slightly and sway your hips while robotically kicking your legs up in perfect synchronicity with the whole chorus line—I mean, regiment."

Others objected to George Soros's demand that at least 50% of Azov members cut off their genitals and dress up as women. "As for me, I was perfectly happy to do it," Iwhore Mosiychuk explained.  The grossly overweight transexual Nazi continued: "My idols are Eva Braun and Divine in Pink Flamingos, so it came naturally to try to emulate them. But forcing half of Azov to become trannies overnight, and threatening to withhold billions of dollars if they don't, just isn't nice. Shame on you, Soros!"

The Azov rebranding comes as the revisionist group ADL claims to have discovered new evidence that Ukrainian Nazi leader Stepan Bandera led a transexual double life as "Stephanie Bandera" and was an early advocate of equal treatment for sodomites, catamites, troglodytes, pedophiles, cannibals, and other oppressed persons.