Watermelon Terror Alert!

A postcard from Paris

Is it just my crazy conspiratorial imagination, or do these two juxtaposed images remind you of something?

I’m in Charles de Gaulle Airport returning home to Morocco after a three-week visit to the USA. I have a little less than an hour till my plane boards. And the weirdest thing just happened. So I’m going to tell my Substack subscribers about it.

A friend emailed me a YouTube video entitled “I Think I Was Poisoned - Buying WATERMELON - Be Cautious!”

Whoever would have thought that WATERMELON TERRORISM would be a thing? Man, I am SO GLAD I got out of the USA alive!

So I’m sitting here at the airport, I look up from my laptop, and over there on the wall is…a Pret a Manger ad with a couple of pictures side by side that suspicious minds might interpret as references linking 9/11 to WATERMELON TERRORISM. One image is a bread airplane coming straight at you.

The other image is a slightly-carved watermelon that could represent a carry-on bag, but also looks a lot like a watermelon bomb with an explosive plunger—the kind Wile E. Coyote might use against the Roadrunner.

If you depress the plunger, will that watermelon blow up?

And did you notice that the white shining negative space inside that “watermelon plunger” is a rectangle roughly the shape of pictures we’ve all seen of three New York City skyscrapers that all explosively committed suicide on 9/11?

Or does the whole watermelon with the NYC sticker represent a 9/11 Tower, with the “plunger” representing the top part of the building above the plane strike zone? According to the official story, the plane strike zone gave way, and the top part of each Tower fell straight down into the intact part of the Tower beneath the plane strike zone, causing the lower part of the Tower to basically explode into powder at near-free-fall acceleration for no discernible reason. The weight of the lighter top part of the Tower falling on the vastly more robust lower part of the Tower couldn’t possibly have demolished the lower part, any more than pushing that “watermelon plunger” back into the watermelon would cause that watermelon to explosively disappear into its own footprint.

So are the usual suspects engaging in their usual “dupers’ delight” by making WATERMELON TERRORISM a thing this August? Did they buy billions of dollars worth of put options on watermelons, betting that the watermelon market would collapse, and then start poisoning watermelons and spreading WATERMELON TERRORISM images all over international airports?

Personally I think that’s a conspiracy theory too far. It’s probably just a coincidence that somebody has been poisoning watermelons and spreading WATERMELON TERRORISM YouTubes and social media warnings and airport advertising images. It’s certainly a coincidence, or synchronicity if you will, that I happened upon my friend’s warning and link to the YouTube and then looked up and saw an apparent WATERMELON TERRORISM image on the airport wall.

Then again, you can’t put anything past these people.

So what do you think? Coincidence, conspiracy, or maybe some of each?