Mossad Dresses Up as Muslims, Throws Glenn Greenwald Off Roof

Dissociated Press

In an operation hailed by pro-Zionist media as “audacious,” “breathtaking,” and “sensational,” Israel’s intelligence service has outed openly homosexual journalist Glenn Greenwald as homosexual—and then thrown him off a roof for good measure.

The operation opened with Unit 8200 posting “Glen Greenwald is gay” on the internet, while real world operatives scribbled the same formula, along with variations such as “for a good time call Glenn Greenwald,” on bathroom walls.

Having destroyed the target’s reputation, a crack black ops team was dispatched to Brazil. Israeli special forces donned stereotypical Muslim apparel, including keffiyehs, djellabas, abayas, throbes, baju melayus, shemaghs, kufis, taqiyahs, topis, songkoks, and even a couple of Sikh turbans to really rile up the islamophobes. They then grabbed Greenwald, hustled him up to the roof, and threw him off, screaming “Allahu akbar” with a Hebrew accent at the top of their lungs.

Fortunately Greenwald’s rooftop overlooked a pool, which the lucky journalist entered swan-dive style, earning a 9.2/10 score from the panel of scantily-clad onlookers.

Though Israeli government sources have issued the usual unconvincing denials, they added that any openly gay journalist who opposes genocide does indeed risk being outed as gay and thrown off a roof by people dressed in stereotypical Muslim clothing shouting stereotypical things in Arabic, and that similarly bad things might happen to heterosexual anti-genocide journalists too, and that these and all other misfortunes were always and everywhere the fault of Hamas.