Kushner Excited Over Gaza Organ Theft Opportunities

Kosher Nostra princeling's "modest proposal"

Dissociated Press

Jared Kushner has urged Israel to “finish the job” of exterminating the Palestinians, expressing unbridled enthusiasm about economic opportunities opened up by the booming genocide industry. Along with “very valuable waterfront real estate,” Kushner said he looked forward to availing himself of the thousands of hearts, lungs, kidneys, corneas, gallbladders, and other valuable human organs that have, as he put it, been “just left lying around” under the rubble in Gaza.

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“As the Israeli proverb goes, ‘If I don’t steal it, somebody else gonna steal it,” Kushner said with a slyly genocidal wink. “With kidneys selling for $200,000 a pop, and at least 30,000 corpses lying around in Gaza, that’s six billion bucks right there. And that’s just the kidneys! Throw in other organs, and the thousands of orphans available for human trafficking, and you’re talking well into the double-digit billions.” Kushner expressed hope that Israel’s tens of thousands of unemployed rabbis could find gainful employment blessing the organs to render them kosher, while others could break in the newly-minted child sex slaves.

Kushner criticized the Biden Administration over its plan to use rubble full of Palestinian bodies to build gigantic corpse-filled concrete piers to deport any Palestinians who remain alive. “What a waste of valuable human resources,” Trump’s kosher nostra son-in-law fumed. “Think of all those precious human organs that will go to waste, buried in the concrete of Biden’s deportation piers. Wouldn’t it make more sense to harvest organs from the corpses, while herding survivors into cattle pens in the Negev Desert where we can keep their organs fresh until needed?”

Asked about the possibility of making commemorative lampshades out of the skin of genocide victims, Kushner dismissed the proposal as unrealistic. “That’s almost as crazy as hydrogen cyanide gas chambers. Let’s stick with the real world here.”

Kushner added that it would be anti-Semitic to criticize him, or any other Jewish person, for exterminating the goyim and stealing their organs. “Carving a pound of flesh, a very valuable pound of flesh, out of the goyim—that’s absolutely central to Jewish identity,” Kushner explained. “It’s part of our Jewish heritage to exploit goyim cattle as ruthlessly as we can get away with—and right now we can get away with anything.” Any criticism of such traditional Jewish practices, Kushner said, constitutes anti-Semitism. “And anti-Semites have valuable organs too,” he added. “Think about that.”

Reached by telephone, an Anti-Defamation League spokesman said “who needs Anglin when you’ve got Kushner,” while leading ADL critic Joel Stein opined:

“I don’t care if the world knows that we’re committing genocide, organ theft, and other crimes. I just care that we get to keep committing them.”